‘Home is where the heart is’, is so very true .

After 20 months of living mostly in Brisbane, away from my Toowoomba home, my husband, my son and many family and friends, I am finally home again. I have been helping my daughter, and her husband care for and support their daughter Erika through treatment for Neuroblastoma at the Queensland Childrens Hospital in Brisbane.

We were fortunate enough to be given a house to stay in, by Childhood Cancer Support for the duration of her treatment. South Brisbane became our home. We called it ‘Erika’s place’. It was where our focus and our hearts were for what was a very difficult time for us all. Erika had a right to call it home as that was the only home she knew for much of her treatment. Her Toowoomba home became ‘Daddy’s home’ and my place was ‘Opa’s home’.

I stayed in Brisbane for a fortnight at a time. My weekends were alternated between staying with my brother and his family in Brisbane on one weekend and travelling home to Toowoomba for the other. Staying with my brother was great as it made me feel like I was still part of a larger family. And they made me laugh which was much needed at times. Toowoomba trips kept me grounded and spending precious time with my husband and my extended family was crucial to my mental health. They were struggling without us too. It was a battle we all fought in different ways.

Toowoomba sometimes felt like just a place to spend a short but precious couple of days with my husband, my cat  and then clean and pack and return to Brisbane. I felt a bit like a stranger in my own home at times.

Once treatment was over, and we had removed our accumulated items and cleaned up in Brisbane, our hearts weren’t in it anymore and it no longer felt like home. I thought I would have mixed feeling as it was never a place I hated and I grew quite fond of Brisbane as a city but I was ready, and it was a relief to be out and back in Toowoomba where we belong. We have only been home for a couple of weeks but it feels much longer. We have settled back in quite easily.

At the end of our first week home, we had a party for Erika’s birthday, end of treatment and welcome home, and having so many caring friends and family in my house really helped me to bond with my home again. The day after the party, my husband had to go away for work. My son was already away but they are both due home in a couple of weeks. So when they are home again, my move home will be complete.

I am here with a whole new outlook on what home means. I appreciate it more. It warms my heart to watch Erika playing with her dolls house and other special toys that are just for playing here. I have so many wonderful memories from visits to my Grandparents home as a child and I hope I am creating the same for Erika.

I have lived in the same home for more than 33 years, and I feel more than ever that I have no reason whatsoever to move. I have all I need and most of what I want right here.

My heart is here. And I am home again.