My son married his long time girlfriend just a couple of days ago. With just over fifty guests, it made for an intimate affair and it was lovely to learn a little more about not all but some of the people who are near and dear to the bride and groom.

Families come in many forms and being surrounded by blended families, families made up of friends, traditional families, the overlapping of those families and everything in between is cause for reflection.

Taking a moment once the ceremony and the photographs were done, I noticed a feeling of immense pride in my family which made me realise that I really wanted to express that pride to the guests, especially that of my son as it was his ‘big day’. Before this moment, I had no intention of making a speech but then suddenly, it just felt right to do so. Only realising this about an hour before the opportunity would arise was challenging, but while we were eating our meal I began to piece together, in my head, a few things I wanted to say and by the time my turn had come around, I felt surprisingly calm.

I normally dislike speaking in front of more than a couple of people and would find it especially nerve wrecking having written nothing down. My stomach usually churns; I get a very red neck and face along with chest pressure and shaking. I am so afraid of saying the wrong thing, leaving something out or upsetting someone. The old saying, ‘It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt’, was always in my mind should the opportunity arise. Just the fact that so many people are looking straight at me and hanging on my every word is enough to bring on a panic attack so I have avoided it where possible.

For some reason, none of that happened. I was still a little nervous but the atmosphere somehow felt forgiving, understanding and I felt that somehow they may have been interested in what I had to say. Since then, I have still done the usual ‘post mortem’ over and over in my head afterwards, tweaking what I had said to what I should have said as if editing a blog post but never feeling it’s quite perfect, but mostly I feel quite proud of myself.

I’m not sure why those usual reactions didn’t happen. Maybe because those who came before me spoke so highly of my son and his new wife, making it easier for me to do the same and maybe it was testament to the people who were there. I felt at ease with them. Not only did the relatively small numbers help but so too did the spirit of the group as a whole.

Maybe something has changed in me and next time I need to speak it will be easier or maybe I will experience the anxiety again, who knows. Either way, I was so pleased I found the courage to speak from the heart. It somehow helped make the remainder of the evening so much fun. Seeing the joy and love the happy couple have for each other, having a slow dance with my husband and my son, enjoying dancing and singing out loud with everyone to some great songs and watching with joy as my granddaughter tried to do the Macarena and the Nutbush and laughing at her for taking on the roll of ‘dance police’ by dragging anyone and everyone onto the dance floor with her, all made for a special night I’ll long hold dear.

I can happily say that this day was one of the best days of my life along with my daughters beautiful wedding seven years ago and the birth of my only (so far) grandchild nearly five years ago.

I feel like my small family is whole and at peace. I am so very proud of us all and everything we achieve together.

No matter what family means to you, treasure it, nurture it and don’t be afraid to boast to anyone who’ll listen.