Contentment does not mean that I desire nothing but rather, it’s the simple decision to be happy with what I have – Paula Rollo

Mindfulness and contentment go hand in hand to me, because when mindfulness enables me to live life in the moment, contentment naturally follows. Being focused on what is in front of me and accepting things for what they are, will allow contentment to flourish.

I live in a small house, by today’s standards. We have one bathroom, three bedrooms, (two of which aren’t used for bedrooms anymore) and two modest living areas. Oh, and a shed for my very Aussie hubby. We have lived here since we were married almost thirty years ago. It has evolved through the changes in our lives from raising two children to adjusting to our empty nest. I love our home.

If we had had more income when our children were growing, maybe we would have moved into a bigger house. We didn’t, so we couldn’t and I don’t think it has affected our lives in a negative way at all. In fact, I feel it taught us to love our home which in turn, taught us contentment. We could afford a bigger fancier home now, but putting ourselves back into debt to ‘keep up with the Jones’ is not something we are prepared to do. If another reason arises, that we feel will enrich our lives, then it is certainly not out of the question.

We can waste so much of our precious time daydreaming for a bigger house, a new car, a promotion at work, a better job with a bigger pay packet, retirement, winning the lottery and any number of other desires we are convinced, will make us ‘happy’. Short term they may but long term, we usually return to our general level of happiness as stated in this research link below.

In 1978, a trio of researchers at Northwestern University and the University of Massachusetts found the following:

Eventually, the thrill of winning the lottery will itself wear off. If all things are judged by the extent to which they depart from a baseline of past experience, gradually even the most positive events will cease to have impact as they themselves are absorbed into the new baseline against which further events are judged. Thus, as lottery winners become accustomed to the additional pleasures made possible by their new wealth, these pleasures should be experienced as less intense and should no longer contribute very much to their general level of happiness. Read more here.

So next time your mind wanders, in this direction, (and for most of us, it will), stop, notice what took your attention away, and focus back on where you are and what you are doing. Never chastise yourself for allowing your mind to wander. This is what our minds do. If issues arise that you feel do need to be dealt with, set aside some time for research and discussion and let it go until then.

The endless chatter in our heads is just that, chatter, a story. Allowing those thoughts to come and go without focusing on them is the trick. Trying not to think those thoughts at all is fruitless. Mindfulness is not about trying not to think of bad things, or only trying to think of good things, but to allow those thoughts, good and bad to drift in and out of your mind without fusing with them. Desperately trying to hold onto the good thought or beginning a struggle with the negative thought you can’t win, is no way to spend your days.

Does too much contentment lead to apathy? I don’t believe so. You can be content and grateful for things as they are, but still be enthusiastic about the future and what new experiences that may bring.

Lastly, I have found that striving for happiness 24/7 is fruitless. However, if you strive for contentment, you will spend more time naturally happy and less time frustrated and discontented with the ways your life is.